“Call Me Chato” is one of many sites poking fun at Disney’s “The Acolyte.” But there is no sport in it. Like shooting fish in a barrel, there is no challenge in criticizing this awful product. At this point in my life, even the idea of shelling any amount of money to watch a Disney Star Wars product carries the risk of nausea. The films consist of “Mary Sues” who often behave in illogical, irrational and often psychopathic ways. I believe in romance, heroism and remain fascinated by “The Hero’s Journey,” all the stuff that Disney disdains.

So, why am I talking about it today? I must confess I am bewildered. When Disney bought Star Wars, they essentially bought a license to print money just as long as they made movies celebrating the things the made the films great. Why didn’t they do that? Just to pick out the most egregious example, Rian Johnson’s “The Last Jedi” is a thumb in the eye to anyone who at any time found anything positive in value in the film series. I saw a video the other day in which a more skilled film analyst than I showed in excruciating scene after scene how Johnson belittled and humiliated every character in the film.

Again and again when confronted with the values and stories that made the Lucas films worth billions of dollars, Disney does something else. Why? Apparently feminist ideology is more important than story telling and making money. I’m not too surprised by the feminist silliness but the not making money part of the equation astonishes me every time I think about it.

And they hate the fans. They hate the fans bad. This is major hatred. And there is no fan they hate more than one who dares criticize what they’ve done with the Star Wars products. According to Disney, these fans only hate what they are doing because the fans are racist and misogynistic. Really? Bad writing, nonsensical stories and characters that don’t make act logically or intelligently might seem to many like a problem not associated with racism or feminism but I guess not being a fervent advocate of diversity and inclusion — and seeing that world through only that prism may keep me from understanding the full horror of my point of view.

I actually have a different theory about why Disney hates the fans. It’s the writing. Disney wants to change, well, everything. And fans remember the story and they want the rules of the story to be followed. They want Lucas’ vision to be honored. The only thing a Disney writer wants (besides a feminist, diversity cast) is to make a big splash by butchering story elements often when it doesn’t make sense or add any interest to the story. The last thing an enterprising writer who intends to butcher every element of a well established story wants to hear is a fan pointing out their mistake because butchering the star war canon is bad writing and is destructive of an intellectual product worth a bundle of money. And deep, deep in their little, tiny feminist heart, they feel just a twinge of guilt. Not real guilt, mind you, the historical White and Male kind of guilt from the distant past before Disney declared war on the Male Patriarchy — and led women to the glorious future of films they watch in relatively small numbers while men find them repulsive not watching at all but I digress.

When does the horror end? That is, when does Disney return to rational plots and once in a long while, a compelling male character.

Never.

Now, you’re probably thinking, “James, James, didn’t you see “The Marvels?” Disney lost 237 million dollars on that! They just can’t keep doing that, right?”

Wrong. The Disney corporation makes most of its money from its terrifyingly mediocre television channel and its theme parks and these billions of dollars make it possible for them to turn out losing films for year after year, decade after decade, and just maybe, corporations being essentially immortal, maybe forever.

So, what do I recommend?

Give up! Watch other products. Star Wars was good and we will always have the original films. Tune these looney people out. They’re not worth your time or pain or mine.

So, why am I so mad?

I’ll tell you the truth. I raised a son. We watched the Star Wars films together. I took him to the theater whenever possible to see them on the big screen. It was an important part of being a father, a big part of our relationship. And then he saw, “The Last Jedi.” He said, “Dad, that ends it for me. There’s nothing worth watching in that series any more.” And so we no longer share that common experience of a same program and how it was when he was five and watching Episode four with a big bucket of popcorn and actual enjoyment.

So, yeah, I’m mad.

James Pilant